A friend told me last night, in the middle of a not particularly positive discussion about my relationship, that she didn't see me and my other half together in five years, and just the night before I'd had the exact same conversation with another close friend but reversed. It got me to thinking about how little we know our friend's relationships, really. Yes we spill all the fantastic and awful sexual details - for example I know that both those women have used foodstuffs during foreplay instead of designated sexual lubricants and they know that I once played for the other team.
We dissect our conversations constantly with out girlfriends and often jump to irrational conclusions because of this - "He said he lied to save your feelings? Nuhuh, men are not that emotionally aware he was definitely cheating on you."
We tell our girlfriends about our deep and dark desires to do that tall dark and handsome man we met on a night out and they promptly put us in our place either with: "Don't you dare be so stupid to ruin something so good." or
"No way, I'm the single one, this isn't fair...Tell you what I'll fuck him for you."
But how much do we actually talk about the men we're with? Sure my friends know the secrets of his that I've been allowed to talk about (and some I haven't); they've met the man, loved the man and some have been attracted to the man; I keep them updated about the changes, the fights, the romantic nights but none of that gives them any basis to really know him.
I'm unaware if they know he listens to books, or he loves to cook, or he never lets me go while he's asleep. They certainly don't know we've gotten to the stage in our relationship when all bodily functions are mutually accepted as hilarious.
Maybe I was quick to judge two nights ago and maybe my friend was quick to judge me last night but, as she put it, "I'm happy if you're happy. If you're not then I want you to make a change to ensure that you will be." I guess I forgot to mention in my moment of doubt the tickle fights we have that leave me weeping in laughter and him weeping in pain. In fact, I'm sure if he told his friends my glee at his discomfort they'd have a few things to say but in the meantime I plan on proving my friend wrong.
And, after re-reading this, possibly trying to fix the balance of romance and flatulence in my wonderful relationship.
