In-Flight Entertainment

I have thought of one story to tell you...

To get the cheapest flights I had to do three stopovers over 36 hours which, I can assure you, is not fun. On my middle flight I had my aisle seat ready and waiting for me like I'd planned (aisle is always best, you don't have to move people and it's quite rare that people move you. Also, there's extra leg room although I have been known to get run over by a trolley on a few occasions) but a French couple were sitting seperately and asked me to move so they could sit together yadda yadda yadda no problem. Except I then had a middle seat between an Irishman and an Arab guy. Provisionally this was fine except the Arab guy spoke minimal English, was clearly sexist as he ignored the female air hostesses but not the men, and held up the plane because he wouldn't put his seat up or put his seatbelt on. Very comforting, eh. He slept for the first half of the flight lounging extravagantly  - and let me tell you I had to utilise some sneaky moves to get my armrest - but then woke up after the food and took to just staring at me. It wasn't all the time but it was frequent and held for long enough to make me feel very uncomfortable. He then started to put his hands down his trousers to 'adjust' himself from time to time. I simply decided to ignore him thinking he would pass out again but I was very wrong. When the Irish guy fell asleep he pulled his blanket over his lap, stuck his hands down his trousers and started massaging his prominent erection. Well, my eyebrows disappeared into my hairline and are yet to come back down. I woke up the Irish guy and called a flight attendant who said "I'm sorry, all the seats are full and it's not like anyone is going to want to swap."

....

Yes, I get that, but I'm a nineteen year old girl next to a middle aged pervert, cut me some slack here! Silly Emirates, I will be using that woman's cavalier attitude to get me some First Class seats all the way home!

Thankfully the Irishman found it hilarious and was more than happy to sit next to the Arab guy anyway. But still, it was only one more seat between me and some scarring emotional trauma, so when I got off the flight in Bangkok I did the one thing I know how.

I got drunk.