Hole In One.

"Relationship". It's a word that is thrown around so much today what with our being able to put it online and then cancel it as easily as getting a refund the minute it gets 'old news'. Chatting to a friend last night she said "I think I'm going to try dating" as if it was a massive revelation that no one had considered before, but her tone did hold some weight - nobody actually does it, there's no journey anymore. Nobody just goes out for dinner, or cocktails, or the movies or whatever just to get to know each other without consuming copious amounts of alcohol and having a cheeky grope on the dance floor (as fun as it is, I've gotten to that stage where I've started wearing kirbie grips in my hair just to stab at whoever's wandering hand that thinks it doesn't have to work for it). But this can lead on to the rest of your life faster than it takes to buy a drink! One minute you're hooking up in a club, next you're meeting the parents via video-call. What ever happened to pace, guys? Admittedly, dating probably wouldn't suit me as the whole rules on sleeping together (first date, third date, fifth date, wedding day blah blah blaaaah) would confuse, and probbaly restrict, me and undoubtedly lead to too much drama that comes when british people sleep together 'Must NOT talk about my emotions...must NOT betray enjoyment...must NOT ask where this is going' yadda yadda yadda. Obviously it's more men that torment themselves with this train of thought - they do tend to have very fragile hearts! My man now (a year on) talks about how stressful the first few months of our sleeping together was as he was in love with me from the word go and didn't have a "fucking clue how to deal with it". Course, I just thought we were sleeping together...ish. My point is the modern-day man can easily be more fragile than us modern valkyrie-type, condom-toting girls.

However it wasn't until last night when I realised quite HOW fragile they can be! I was chatting away to a pal who's in his mid-20s and has never ever had a relationship that has lasted over 2 months - now that is quite a feat in 8 years of being sexually active, right? He was harping on about never wanting a woman and definitely never EVER god-forbid-would-rather-die-first needing a woman. He was giving the big macho chat about independence (yeah that's all fine til you want breakfast in bed) and casual sex (even though his magic number has minimal strings attached) which makes every man the most unattractive bloke alive - fine if you feel that way, just don't write it on your forehead? It means the likelihood of our sleeping together is minimal due to his moaning - probably never dated because women find it like looking into a mirror that talks back, over you, or any other way

. Anyway it suddenly hit me that he was just being a freaking pussy - that he was shit scared of women! I told him to grow some balls and actually open up to someone, he answered by starting a conversation about his two rather large (apparently) balls and, in my head, I wished him luck- he's going to be hard pushed to find a girl willing to engage in lengthy conversations about his genitals. Boys, stop being so egotistical, they might not all look the same, or be the same size or colour but they have the same goal, and, depending on who you are, there are things out there that do the job better than you lot without the backchat- and they ARE all the same size, shape and colour.