Simply because I can..

I've just copied and pasted the column today because although it would make more sense on paper this guy bugged me a lot today so the more space I fill up with his name next to a negative anecdote the happier I am!

I had a very awkward situation to warn you of today (University is a perilous place - I asked a girl who she was and she replied "We sat next to each other in tutorials for the whole of first year". I tried to pull it off as an innocent mistake) but instead I am going to rant about some "Josh Lee" who has been making smart-arse comments to me on facebook all day through some public English students group and generally barging his way into my stream of consciousness - not a good idea when I am a tired, hungry student with a column. All I did was ask everyone if the lectures this year are being recorded and put on WebCT (or myaberdeen or some other dusty, unused corner in cyberspace that Aberdeen latches onto to make it seem more accessible to the 'youth of today' - if it's not somewhere we can brag about our lifestyles, we don't care. You're more likely to have success on bebo, which is saying something for sure). Anyway, this Josh bloke makes a completely useless comment by noting that if I'd been there this morning I would have known.

Oh my, what WONDERFUL words of wisdom from my fellow teenager - to think if I'd gone to the lecture I would have known the content? What an incredible thought! Please allow me to lick your shoes and get your inspiring knowledge tattoed across my own forehead backwards so that I can read it in the miror!

Seriously - no duhr! What a waste of my time in reading and responding; if you're going to make a joke make it funny, original and preferably self-depracating. You, on the other hand, made yourself seem like a friendless prick who hasn't seen daylight since WWII and who's weapon of choice in his arduous daily battles is his iphone.

Baby, you can try and get me from your own one-size-fits-all hole in cyberspace, but I've got the power of the printed word. So unless your iphone has a physical cell to contain me in...bite me - or, in your case, *bite me*.